How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize