If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
