i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
