this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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