You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
