dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
