So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
