Can Purell be used as lube?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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