Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize