he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
