I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Is Oprah even human
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
