why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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