i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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