What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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