now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Randomize
