remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think I sprained my soul last night
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am naked and annoyed.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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