Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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