sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
