His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
they're like a gay fantastic four
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
