apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
