I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
