So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
