the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
