Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
