He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
