She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
