she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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