Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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