FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize