He uses pillows to masturbate.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
