My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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