bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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