i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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