dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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