i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
