My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
