This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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