I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
