we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
