I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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