How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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