Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
