I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize