I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
