Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
