Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize