The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
