do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
two words: eviction party
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
