yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
