The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
