It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The struggles of a small town man whore
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
