hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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