She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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