I didn't shave. On purpose
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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