Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
