I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
