I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
