At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
