You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
