Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
