there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
