Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
