so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
